no practice

i desire changes

2006-12-15T16:42:00.000-08:00

Long time, no write!

...and a lot has been happening.

For example, we are in the midst of moving to Vancouver, BC, right before Christmas and in the middle of a series of snow and wind storms. Fun!

I have been neglecting this blog as well as loadedpun.com - this one, because I've started up a new, much nicer site (I think) and loadedpun because I'm depressed about the world of videoblogging.

What better way to express this depression than through a new videoblog with a .tv address?

The new site is called idesire.tv and it includes a videoblog (coming soon), a blog, and a webcam page where you can what me surf the net, drink coffee, smoke... and I might even do some impromptu webcam performances!

Hope to see you there!

2006-07-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

Sleep My Love

Watch the video

I can't stop watching him. I can't stop watching. I can't stop.

Investigation - Subject D

2006-07-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

Devlon sleeps in on weekends. It's the only chance I get to watch him sleep.

It drives me crazy that I don't know what he's dreaming. I want to know everything.

Fetish for Things

2006-06-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

Came across this fantastic site. Fetish or catalogue? Is there a difference?

btw, for the vloggers who complain there is not enough video on my site and the artists who complain there is not enough art on my site and the writers who complain there is not enough writing on my site...?

This is not a book. This is not a gallery. This is not a television.

2006-06-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

Seeing Is Believing

Watch the video

This is a story about need - needing to tell, needing to see, needing to record.

2006-06-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

Forgetting

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I have spent several years online, exploring ways in which the body can be effected through mediated means. One of the things i've been exploring is Hypnotism.

I've had two previous sessions with T. - a man who claims to be an online erotic hypnotist. During those sessions, I have felt relaxed (much like meditation) but have not been able to take it further.

My third attempt was last night.

Second Life Lessons

2006-06-03T21:56:00.000-07:00

I met a man in Second Life today. His name was Faun and he is Gorean. If you don't know what that is, you should look it up.

In real life, he tells me, he is a 25 year veteran of the BDSM lifestyle so, naturally, he gravitated toward me in my distress.

I couldn't figure out how to turn myself around so that I could see what I looked like. I have found no mirrors in the program and was dying to know what kind of impression I was making.

As it turns out, if you hold down the alt key while moving the mouse, the angle shifts and you can see all sorts of things. This is what I saw.

Yes, I've changed. I bought this outfit, dubbed "Hottie" and, with the addition of free cat tail and ears, a Malibu suntan, default body shape and the gift of lollipop ring from an invisible "friend", my new identity is almost complete. I still need shoes but my funds are low.

In the background, two furries duke it out.

I found a great article on videoblogging within Second Life and received the promised free interviewing microphone (for 1 Linden).

The idea of making "video" within an artificial environment intrigues me. Would the results be more or less real than the videoblogs I make currently?

San Jose Art Museum call for submissions

2006-06-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

The San Jose Museum of Art is having a call for submissions for a show....in Second Life. The works they are seeking are virtual and exist within the program and will be shown in a virtual gallery in the program. Fascinating.

The virtual objects are mundane enough sounding - furniture, plants, vehicles. Does the fact that they are virtual make them art?

Here's the scoop from 3pointD.com:

New and existing Second Life members are invited to submit furniture, objects, fashion and accessory designs, aesthetic creations, games, vehicles, buildings, amusements and attractions, foliage and natural features, including site-specific installations or performances, or any other creation made inside the Second Life metaverse.

Go there to get links to info.

2006-05-19T17:42:00.000-07:00

My Second Life

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I finally made it. I'm in Second Life. Here is my first day in a social setting. It's some sort of welcome area, I think.

I dont' seem to be able to walk up stairs. I go through them instead. But, I did manage to get rid of a pesky bald spot by giving myself bigger hair.

Virtual vlogging in a virtual world.

bodyBody project

2006-05-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

I found a site called bodyBody Project from a group out of Seattle about body issues for women.

An interesting factoid from the main page:

In 1920, women established the right to vote. 1920 was also the first year of the Miss America Pageant.

On the site, some women recount their body stories:

You’re either a Lara Flynn Boyle or a Camryn Manheim, and I’m neither of those. I used to relate to Kate Winslet and Christina Ricci, but both of them have caved to industry pressure and lost a /lot/ of weight. I thought Renée Zellweger looked wonderful with those extra few pounds she put on for Bridget Jones’s Diary, but all the film industry could do was snipe about how fat she was (even though she only went up to what, a size 6?), and once she took the weight back OFF (plus some extra, it seemed) I thought she looked terrible. There’s no one in the middle ground. You’re either the token fat actor or you’re one of the beautiful people. I think [my body image has] gotten progressively worse as I’ve gotten older. I keep gaining weight, and the more I put on the less I like my body. I’ve tried every type of exercise and diet known to man, and nothing except starving myself seems to work. With every piercing and tattoo my body becomes slightly more my own – but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I like it any more. Now that I’m single again, for the first time in so long, there is so much extra pressure to make my body beautiful – my boyfriend may have loved my body, but now he’s gone. If I want to find someone else, I’d better get myself as close to that ideal as possible, or I’m going to spend the rest of my life alone. I only get really motivated to change my body during the times when I hate it most. -- Alicia Barta, Seattle

This is just one of them. Check them out.

What is your body story? Men and women both. Come on. You know that you have them...

2006-05-15T14:42:00.000-07:00

Motor Cycles

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In this video, I am thinking about my role as a vlogger and as a community member. Is the act of watching/taping the act of participating? What am I participating in? I am thinking about mediation of experience or mediation as experience, control and motorcycles.

2006-05-12T16:19:00.000-07:00

Hostess Hotties

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My response to the discussions about sexism, gender roles in the media and a certain ad for a videoblog "hostess"

Fascinating Girl - Part Two

2006-04-29T22:40:00.000-07:00

In this second reading, we learn how to develop and display dependancy toward men.
I could go on and on reading this book. It's quite stupendous.

Fascinating Girl - Part One

2006-04-29T07:35:00.000-07:00

This is a reading from a book I bought at a second hand shop a few years back. It's chock full of valuable information on how women can make themselves attractive to any man.

I was reading from it to Devlon and he decided to record me and posted it on Byte Me, so this is a crosspost and props go to him as the maker.

Fascinating!

Evolution and media

2006-04-24T22:46:00.000-07:00

I made this image for loadedpun's cafepress shop. Don't know how it'll fly though...smiles.

Ladies, get your tees and mugs!

I am going to do another vlog post tomorrow. No telling when I'll get it online though. I have to share editing facilities. We'll see...

Annalee and Attractiveness

2006-04-14T15:36:00.000-07:00

From Alternet, I read an article about Annalee Newitz's slashdotting of her site and the resulting commentary:

A few months ago, an article of mine was Slashdotted. But instead of resulting in a lively debate about technology and social justice, it instead produced a popular thread in the "comments" area about whether I was too fat to be considered attractive.
She goes on to tell of her most recent slashdotting the threaded discussion that followed about whether or not she was attractive.

She winds up her post on her experiences by acknowledging the men who stood up for her and thought that, perhaps, men are evolving from the primordial ooze afterall.

There's quite a lively discussion at Alternet going on in her comments right now.

2006-04-13T14:36:00.000-07:00

Let Me Entertain You

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I've got a camera and Videoblogging Week has given me an itch. I've just got to scratch it.

Getting tired of the talking head yet?

2006-04-09T10:51:00.000-07:00

Day Seven - Conversation

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Well, we've finally reached the end of Videoblogging Week 2006 and boy is my psyche tired.

I've been watching videos all week, commenting far more than usual, and trying to get my mind around this whole thing we call conversation.

Killer B responded to Michael Verdi's experiment 2 video with a video that begins as a counter but soon turns to the idea of conversation and community.

This is a response to Killer B, a confession about my feeling surrounding videoblogging, community and commerce.

2006-04-08T22:51:00.000-07:00

Day Six - Lessons in Humility

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Day six and I'm going to instruct you on copyright as it pertains to mashups and using other people's content in your vlog....and get a lesson of my own in the process.

2006-04-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

Day Five - Friends

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No I didn't go to Revenue Canada today and yes, I did make a video.

Why do confessions feels good and bad at the same time?

Haven't been getting comments

2006-04-06T19:39:00.000-07:00

Rather, I've been getting comments I just haven't been...you know...getting them. They have been trapped in the dashboard and I had no idea. Months of comments just sitting there.

I feel bad that I haven't responded and I also feel good that I got them. I'll keep a look out from now on to make sure I'm not snubbing anyone.

Sorry about that!

2006-04-06T15:21:00.000-07:00

Day Four - Taxes

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As we all know, it's that time of year again.

Devlon left explicit instructions that I was to go to Revenue Canada and get my taxes done.

2006-04-05T15:51:00.000-07:00

Day Three - In The Pink

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In reference to a remark in the Yahoo Videoblogging Group...here is a brief glimpse of the item in question.

2006-04-04T16:46:00.000-07:00

Day Two - The Internet

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A short one today. Short and sweet. Well...short.

Ah, the internet. I shake my fist at you.

FeedBurner Feed

2006-04-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

Ok. I usually get Devlon to take care of these kinds of things (I am not a techie and...oddly enough, even less of one since I've had him to help me. Funny how that works, isn't it? but I digress...) I have gotten a FeedBurner Feed for this forlorn blog.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/NoPractice

I'll stick it over on the side too. Use it to add me to your aggregator. I can't promise that much will happen here (I'm pretty busy with loadedpun.com these days) but, if something does, you won't miss it.

Happy Videoblogging Week 2006!

"40"

2006-04-03T20:56:00.000-07:00

Videoblogging Week 2006 - Day 1: "40"

Watch the Video

This week is Videoblogging Week in the vlogosphere and I have committed to posting once a day for seven days. The theme is "vlogging dangerously".

I don't have a camera that takes good pictures and the microphone truly sucks but it's all I have right now so I'm posting anyway. Kind of appropriate considering the subject matter.

I'm going to tell you some of my insecurities this week - some of my foibles and fears and dreams. I'm going to make a series of confessions to you, whoever you are.

Today's is called "40".

Enjoy

NOTE: arrrgh! I tried to crosspost this yesterday and apparently, the video did not go through. I really must watch for these sorts of things!

Gabbly With Me

2006-03-12T22:06:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, if you like, type gabbly.com/nopractice.blogspot.com into the address bar of your browser and a chat window will appear on my site. I will be here if you want to chat.

This is a new kind of chat client - one that's user driven. You can now chat on any site (well, not any. I tried doing it on the new york times site but it wouldn't let me) just by typing in gabbly.com first.

Go ahead. Try it. I know you're curious....

FutureMe

2006-03-12T00:11:00.000-08:00

Dear FutureMe,
I hope that you are married now. Why did you wait so long? Jim is everything you have ever wanted and needed in your life. I hope that you have a family or are starting one. Remember that your family are you best friends and they are always there for you. Don't keep the important stuff secret anymore. I hope that you are successful and that you realize that you want to become a mother more than anything. Money isn't everything and if you don't have the best of everything and if it isn't better than everyone else's you are still okay.
You are a strong woman and you have held your family together long enough . Whatever happens happens and you are not responsible. jim loves you and you and he will have your own family and your kids will never see you fight like you saw your parents.
You are a good person. You are a loving person. Stop and relize that. You don't have to make everyone else happy as long as tou are yourself. Stop making excuses for your actions. You are who you are. You're old enough to make your own decisions. You don't need your parents to help you out all the time.
PS Did the bathroom renovations end up being okay?
I love you.
Me

(written Sat Dec 24, 2005, to be delivered Fri Apr 13, 2007)

The concept is an interesting one. FutureMe is full of hope.

Fun With Jane

2006-03-07T22:21:00.000-08:00

Back on February 19th, I received an email from someone going by the name of Jane Cartland. Jane claimed to have come across my blog and, complimenting me on my attractiveness, asked to post some of my pics on her websites.

The sites in question are quasi porn sites. By that, I mean that they are odd. They don't look like porn sites and the models in them are regular women you wouldn't normally see on porn sites.

I was suspicious and asked for more information. Something told me that it was some sort of project - whether personal or art, I wasn't sure - but something was definitely up.

She posted my breasts on a page devoted to breasts and told me afterwards. I then sent a pic of my head and a pic of one of my legs and she posted those on the appropriate sites. Then, she was gone.

I went by today and checked up on the project. It has come to a halt....and my pic has been givena place of prominance, along with a link to my limited time offer and titled Miss Mew.

I've just written her to ask if I know her in another context. I'm quite certain that I must. The question is, who might it be?

A stalker perhaps? No. She has disappeared. I guess she was a limited time offer.

Stickam to me

2006-03-07T21:16:00.000-08:00

You might notice my stickam sticker on the sidebar over there --->.

I'm trying out the service and I'm having a mixed reaction. I like having me appear live, from time to time, on my blogs. I'm not too fond of the fact that it is linked in to the entire stickam site, however. I keep getting popup messages from masturbating men there. I don't have anything against masturbating men, per se, but it is annoying when I am trying to go about my business.

I've turned preferences at stickam.com to "not appear on live list". hopefully, it will keep the masturbation down to a minimum.

Does a "live" presence make a difference in how you perceive your blog experience? Is it more intimate?

Savage Chickens: Second That Emotion Cartoon

2006-03-03T20:37:00.000-08:00

Savage Chickens: Second That Emotion Cartoon

Loaded Pun

2006-03-02T00:06:00.000-08:00

You've been aware, I'm sure, that my attention has been divided lately. My blogging has been sporadic, at best. There have been several reasons for this.

My kids and I have just moved in with D and his son to a new apartment. We are still emptying boxes. I am such a nomad.

We have also started up a new blog with our very own domain and a Dreamhost server account. It's called loaded pun and the theme is blogs, vlogs and video goodness. I will be showcasing online video in all of it's contexts, as well as the news, tools and theory surrounding it.

If you have an online project that includes video, please be sure to drop us a line and let us know about it. If you want to find out about video projects, festivals and places to host your stuff, come on over and look around.

And...if you want to set up your own Dreamhost account, you might like to use our promotional code (loadedpun) to save yourself $50 off of the cost of hosting. Dreamhost has a sweet deal currently that gets you 20 gigs of storage, unlimited subdomains, 1 terabyte of bandwidth and free domain registration for under $10 per month. Hmmm....online curatorial project, anyone?

Making It In Canada

2006-02-19T09:00:00.000-08:00

Here is the video D and I made, talking about our experience on the night that Uki left Ginza and came to our house. We did it without rehearsal and in one take. It's also quite long for a videoblog - 15 minutes...but we needed to tell the story about Uki and what happened that night...

Horny and Jealous

2006-02-18T12:18:00.000-08:00

What makes you horny?

What makes you jealous?

Watch these clever video animations from www.ingredientx.com.

You Are Beautiful

2006-02-17T22:08:00.000-08:00

Are we all beautiful? Who and what defines the beautiful and sets them apart from the rest of us?

Is there a difference between being beautiful and being hot? Which would you rather be?

found while googling "hot" and images

Naked Truth

2006-02-16T10:35:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about being naked lately and how uncomfortable I've begun to feel in my own skin.

Maybe it's the proliferation of perfection that is served up on the sex websites. If they are any indication, there is no room for the fat, the wrinkled, the scarred, in desire. Desire is perfection and I have begun to desire it - to expect it - in myself.

Today, I wandered onto some sites which address the body perfect. The pictures are beautiful...but do they turn you on?

everyday nakedness
completely naked
F-64

The Reappearance of Uki

2006-02-10T12:56:00.000-08:00

We finally heard from Uki, the sushi chef:

It's Uki now im here in Vancouver

Thanks for worring about me

I saw Ann and Branda came to ginza restaurant

I wanted to see you guys but I was getting beat uped by the boss
He hit me first at the face and I saw blood coming out of my mouth
I spat on the floor and he told me that "Are you spitting at the floor?" and
He spat on my face...
i wanted to call the cops but i had no chance...

i had no money and i wanted my payment before i leave
so i couldn't do anything to him..
i had a deal with the boss he wanted me not to contact with you
and he wrote down all of my information(passport..etc..) and i got my pay of 500 dollars

the boss' daughter was comming to the restaurant because
she was going to ruin the plan that we had...not to go to the government
aviod the cause what they were doing to me

i could of gone to the police station but i had no money with me
and i had the deal with the boss so...i had no choice

he also said that "if you sue me i'll buy a lawyer and only you will be the one who will
suffer and i'll just get over with but not you" something like this he said to me...

i didn't want any of my problems with you so i didn't contact you..

i just wanted to leave quitely and since i had a deal with the boss
thank you for worring about me i will call you soon...

You see, it turns out that the restaurant I was working in has been bringing people into Canada from overseas with the promise of a work visa (for which the lucky worker pays a huge sum of money). There is no work visa, of course, only 10-12 hour work days, seven days a week, no pay. Slavery in the Okanagan. I wonder how prevelant it is?

I've contacted the immigration officer for the RCMP but have yet to hear a peep. This is not over.

Oh yes. The restaurant had to close down due to the sudden disappearance of it's entire staff (Uki, me and my daughter) but I understand they are back up again - with a new sushi chef. He just arrived in town.

Intrigue in Penticton

2006-02-05T12:29:00.000-08:00

Uki is gone and there is a big story brewing. Stay tuned for some video on the matter...

The last time we saw Uki, he stayed until the wee hours of morning, messaging friends at home. It would be his first contact with the outside since he arrived, three months ago...

The Pan

2006-01-25T14:32:00.000-08:00

I've been surviving on sushi. I got a job waitressing at a local sushi restaurant and work with people from Japan and Korea. They know very little English and nothing of Canadian culture (yes, we have a Canadian culture) so the questions I get from them are fascinating. I had to explain to the sushi chef, in the country only two months, what the difference is between boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, husband and lover. It was interesting, to say the least.

He asked me for these definitions after his "wonderful date" with the coat check girl at the local dance club. She is blond and he is now in love. Unfortunately, he is unsure about his footing with her and needed clarification. Finally, he asked, "What mean only friend?" and I had to be the one to break it to him.

Sushi Chef is an interesting character. Just like the kitchen cook goes by the name of Cook, the sushi chef goes by the name of Sushi Chef. I asked him his name on the third day.

"Robert", he said. I found out later that this was false (his name is actually Uki) and asked him why he told me that was his name. He explained that Robert DeNiro is his favorite American actor and proceeded to do the "you talkin' to me" scene, complete with finger gun. He admitted that he had made up the name on the spur of the moment. Something tells me that my boss is not named Sarah, either...

On an entirely unrelated note, I've been watching episodes of The Pan. It is not a video blog, although video bloggers are associated with it. It can be described as a curated show of digitized moving images found on the web. The individual works are compiled into a single video which changes daily and can be either quite entertaining or quite boring, depending on the day. I highly recommend it.

This project reminded me of K's desire to curate a video art show utilizing the vodcast as the vehicle. I like the idea. He is concerned about funding and copyright, however. These are issues that always come up when it comes to "legitimate" art venues. What do you do when the art is freely available on the web and can be downloaded, copied, sampled, etc? How do artists get paid for their work in this context? is there a difference between an art show and The Pan? Aren't video artists already on the low end of the art pay scale as it is?

Panopticon

2005-12-23T08:18:00.000-08:00

Well, I quit my job as a telephone operator. I couldn't handle the constant surveillance. So, now, I'm on the hunt for another job and thinking about an art project I want to do called Soft Bondage.

It's been a while since I've made actual objects and, with winter in full swing and my recent return to knitting as a way to curb the boredom, I am in a prime mood for art making.

In the contemporary setting, call centres, with heavily surveilled employees, realise the idea behind Panopticon in a 21st century setting - where the gaze of a superior is always present in every conversation and internalised in every good employee. Wikipedia

Modern Sex

2005-11-20T10:40:00.000-08:00

I love reading other people's blogs...especially the comments from others contained within them. There is a lovely element of surprise in the comments section.

Today, on a BDSM blog, I found this comment:

And Rothko fucking rocks. I once had this girlfriend that’d insist on being given oral in the style of Rothko (and she could really tell the difference when I was faking it). Take from that what you will.

Update On A Life

2005-11-15T17:20:00.000-08:00

Where have I been, you may well be asking. Or not. Perhaps my reading public has gone off in search of much more worthy art fodder and I don't blame them.

I haven't been thinking about art at all lately. I've been doing other things...

I have a new blog and it's not about art...unless you consider life to be art, in which case, it is rife with it. My new blog, currently housed at an undisclosed location, chronicals my new life as a BDSM'er in the Okanagan Valley.

There is an ever growing group of kinky folk in the valley and I am now a full fledged member of this society. I like it. It is the art we inflict upon ourselves...private and public performances to a select audience. I'm not going to tell you where my blog is but a careful search may yield results...

I got another image on the cover of Front Magazine but have not heard from the gallery at all. Emails today confirmed it. I haven't seen the cover but I'm hoping to find myself a copy or two. It's very odd knowing that something I did is out there and I am not privy to it. I have been going on rumour. Kind of appropriate for the stuff that I do.

I got a job as a telephone operator - another irony in my life. I have done telephone performances in the past and I feel that this job extends my interest in telepresence in a new way. The performances that I will be doing as an operator will be recorded and played back to me in monthly evaluation meetings. I will be my own audience.

my nonpractice continues....

Typoglycemia

2005-10-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod
are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the
rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit
a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thguoht
slpeling was ipmorant

This fascinates me. I wonder if we do that with people too and that's why I have a hard time distinguishing the catches from the throw backs? I'm filling in the blanks with everything I'd rather be hearing them say. Hmmm. Very telling.

I met a woman today in Penticton who is a Domme. We had coffee and had a great time. She has agreed to help "dress" me for a fet night in Kelowna coming up. I'm quite excited. I've never been to a fet night. I never thought I had the coolness factor to carrry it off. But now that I'm forty and have decided on a new look, I think that I can manage it.

No art. None. Haven't so much as taken a picture. I stare at my camera and wince. I feel that it is judging me.

Torturing Souls

2005-09-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

I mentioned earlier that I would try to engage my mind in art by visiting all of the blogs in The List. Language has proven to be a debilitating factor in this exercise but I am pressing on, nevertheless, in the hopes of finding something to get the cogs moving again.

Today, I found this.

On 00e00, a site titled enrique zabala: notes on contemporary art, the author laments his complicated relationship to painting.

...I paint, you could say, in spite of. In spite of not finding happiness in it, of it seeming like a heavy, uncomfortable and slow vice. In spite of that painting seems like a metamorphosis into a divine replicate; a replicate no less extravagant and miserable than the original. In spite of living painting as an impulse rather than pleasure; as a necessity rather than as freedom...

Poor, tortured soul...

In an earlier blog entry, we can read a story about the Painter, Parrhasius, and how he had his subject tortured to get just the right expression for his painting.

Forty

2005-09-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Sad that I missed the art blogging discussions at Artivistic, I've decided that I simply must force myself to look at some kind of art thing on a daily basis. As I don't have galleries to go to, I will go through the massive list of art blogs done by Loreto Martin and linked at Zeke's Gallery. That ought to keep me busy for a while.

I noticed that I am not on said list. Guess I should make some art or something. Also noticed that Zeke is calling this site No Practive. Not sure what that means but it sounds important.

As for what I have been up to...

Monday was my 40th birthday. This was a very traumatic experience for me. Forty is such a large number.

D. took me out to a great Greek restaurant in town called Theo's. We drank a bottle of red wine and I got quite drunk then he took me back to his place, tied me to the bed and performed unspeakable acts on me, helping to mitigate the trauma of turning forty. I then passed out and have been napping on and off ever since.

Quagmire

2005-09-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've been quiet. I've been living life and not making any work at all and not even looking at anyone else's work. This has been both relieving and boring. I need to get to Vancouver and see some stuff. I need to be inspired.

I just got back from a quick (couple of hours) trip to Vancouver to visit a new doctor. I go back next month for yet another biopsy - this one on my liver. Yum. I can hardly wait. I'm going to try to make a trip out of that one - hop over to some galleries and see what's up. If it pans out, I just may have something to write about.

I'm sad that I am missing the art blogging discussions over at Artivistic. Too bad I was unable to go. I was really hoping to make it. Ugh. I'm depressed. I'm interested to hear what everyone has to say about it though. What does art blogging mean, anyway? Has it become an integral part of the art world? Why or why not?

At the homefront, I have been spending fewer and fewer hours here. It seems strange to be sitting at my mac, in my room/studio, trying to get my cylinders firing again. I've been avoiding me. My mind has gone to ruin. I need a drink.

This small town has been good for my sanity in the short term. I've had time to regroup and relax... but I'm becoming a hermit - a very boring one at that. I do believe that it's time to shake things up a bit.

Finally, The Results Come In...

2005-09-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

Click to watch video

CT Scan Day

2005-09-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

Click to see video

Blog Depression

2005-09-01T10:50:00.000-07:00

In the nick of time, and thanks to NEWSgrist, the nonist posts a link to a pdf file entitled What Everyone Should Know About Blog Depression.

Most bloggers feel down and find their own blog sickening now and then
- it's a natural reaction to the self induced and largely imaginary pressures of blogging.

But when these feelings are severe or prolonged,
- the blogger may lose all sense of proportion, becoming angry and bitter about an undertaking which was totally voluntary and which does not directly contribute to his or her continued survival, on this, our planet earth.

Though amusing, I didn't find the pamphlet particularly helpful. In fact, it's made me more depressed than ever. The prevailing question the writer offer up is, "Do you have anything better to do?" Coming to the realization that I, in fact, do not was sobering, to say the least.

You're Fired

2005-08-31T18:42:00.000-07:00

Video artist and employee at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Dalas Verdugo, is forced to resign after the museum directors discover that he was videotaping in the building. Watch his vlog on the matter here.

Something's Wrong

2005-08-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

From Tate Magazine, Issue 1, Something's Wrong: Melanie McGrath on Tracey Emin:

You see, Tracey Emin is narcissistic. And by that I don't mean that she loves herself. I mean that Tracey Emin loves an image which may or may not be herself but of which she can never be sure. I mean that Emin only half recognises her own projection. And this, of course, is why her work is so lonely, so furious and so demanding of attention. When you look at Tracey Emin's work you see the artist struggling to reach herself, compelled by her own self-consciousness to fail and condemned by the self-same thing to begin again. What you see up on the wall or in the bed or on the screen is Emin's own reflection, exiled. As a result Emin has been criticised for being nothing more than a biographical documentarist, concerned only with the mundane minutiae of her narcissistic personality. 'It's so unmediated, I wonder if it's art,' says Julian Stallabrass, a critic of Emin's work. But that is both to misunderstand and to miss the point. While it's true that little of Emin's work is a commentary on the business of art itself, Emin is herself the mediator between her experience and its expression. The human world consists in individual lives lived and the connections between them. By exposing her own life to public view, Emin makes those connections. Anxiety, neediness, powerlessness, exhilaration, tenderness, the fear that one is condemned to live inside a reflection of oneself, attached only to the image. Who hasn't felt these things? Who hasn't looked in the mirror and thought, 'There's something wrong'?

All We Need Is Love?

2005-08-31T13:23:00.000-07:00

And, from Art and the Greater Good, by Emily Vey Duke:

And as ludicrous as it may seem, we can advocate for narcissism as a viable road to empathy (and the reduction of suffering) in art. Benny Nemerofsky Ramsay's videos, for instance, are perhaps the most explicitly narcissistic works I have ever seen, and yet those tapes open hearts. The element that joins narcissism and empathy is love, and love is good, always, everywhere.

Out Of The Picture?

2005-08-31T13:03:00.000-07:00

On the lack of female representation in the famous Famous Artists List from the Guardian article, Painted Out of the Picture, by Natasha Walter:

...they are often celebrated for staying within the realm of what we feel women's art should be - above all, the personal and emotional. Tracey Emin fits the bill precisely, with her flayed personality on view in all her art...

...the danger is that fascination with their personal lives can divert us from looking straight at the work, and that can hardly help the women to blossom fully as artists rather than narcissistic personalities. How can they feel that they have an appreciative audience, rather than hangers-on and snipers, as long as their faces remain more famous than their art? In the end, such art may well be denied its place in the canon for exactly the qualities that made it such a success: because it is so personal and fashionable, it runs the risk of being seen as ephemeral.

Ironman Canada

2005-08-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

I walked down to the Ironman competition yesterday and took some pics of the final leg - the run. 2200 men and women participated this year.

The competition consists of a 3.86km swim in Okanagan Lake, a 180.2km bike ride through the south Okanagan Valley, and, finally, 42.2km run to Okanagan Falls and back.

This guy was having a tough time. When I snapped the pic, he looked up and said, "yeah, thanks", clearly unimpressed with my voyeuristic impulse.

This guy had completed the event and was down at the finish watching others running in. I was impressed with the number of participants who finished early then stayed to spur the others on.

D. will be posting video of the event at Byte Me, if you want to have a look. It should be up sometime this week. We missed the swim at 7am, unfortunately - my fault for drinking wine and having a meltdown about my own inadequacies.

Watching the event was both inspiring and depressing. I thought about my own flawed body, struggling to walk down the street, and fantasized that I was in the running, crossing the finish line, receiving my medal amid the boistrous accolades of the spectators.

At midnight, the cutoff for official time, a woman in her fifties crossed the finish line with one second to spare. Just before her, a seventy-four year old woman set a world time record for her age group. There were others that didn't make the official time. The clocks that started at seven that morning were stopped at midnight.

I thought about the others - the ones who would run on after the party dispersed and the cameras were turned off. A hundred and fifty participants were still running in - a hundred and fifty who missed the clock after seventeen hours of grueling labour.

There were fireworks. I watched from D.'s balcony for a moment, cut off by a stand of trees, seeing the odd flash of light, and I went to bed resolving to be a better person.

Camera Politics

2005-08-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

A video warrior got footage of a legal party in Utah which was shut down by the National Guard.

This comes on the same day that police in Pittsburg tasered a peaceful protester with a taser, while she was already on the ground.

See video of both assaults mixed into one video here. The daylight footage is of the taser incident. Posted on blip.tv under the tag Gods and Government.

Are assaults like this becoming more prevelant or is documentation of these incidents changing the power dynamic?

A google search on "camera photographing police" brought up many articles and several questions about cameras and cops, who has the right to use a camera and who doesn't .

People are arrested for taking pictures at rallies and in public places in general while the police up surveillance on citizens, photographing crowds of demonstrators. Surveillance cameras on city streets are on the rise and everyone is targeted. At the same time, taking pictures on the street can get your camera confiscated.

Why I Haven't Been Blogging

2005-08-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

I'm in survival mode.

I'm feeling uncreative and unmotivated.

I haven't received my test results yet and probably won't for a while. Thank you to those who expressed concern for my well being. I'm all right.

Experiencing The Vlog

2005-08-17T18:28:00.000-07:00

As you all know and are probably sick of by now, I've been pushing vlogging. I've been interested in it for several reasons. One of them came into focus last night while I chatted with K.

Kevin Hampson is currently showing in Alley Jaunt, a site specific show in Toronto featuring twenty-two community artists. We talked about how this group differs from the art crowd that we are familiar with and how the aesthetic of community arts groups do not necessarily follow the art canon we subscribe to. In such a milieu, it becomes difficult to gauge what is "good" or "interesting" or "important".

Unlike blogging, the emphasis in vlogging is on the visual and people who are, otherwise, not involved in film making or the arts try their hand at creating visual works.

Is vlogging art? Does it depend on who makes it? on the subject matter? the genre? How do we know if a vlog is "good" or not?

So, as I've been experimenting with and experiencing the life of vlogging, I've been thinking about the various genres within the sphere. I've even tried my hand at a few.

Talking head - often to express a point of view. usually a reply to someone or something previously posted in the vlogosphere. used as a form of communication between members of the group.

Michael Verdi - The Yin of Vlogging

Comedy/entertainment - can be anything as long as it is funny. "in" jokes concerning other vloggers are prominent.

Michael Verdi - The Yang of Vlogging

Experimental/art video - video that exists as a discreet object, made for conceptual/aesthetic reasons. use of special effects is prominent. serious subject matter. sometimes carries a political and/or personal message. more often, the effect is entirely visual.

GRAYMATTERGRAVY - 001

Music video - the song predominates. many of these use copyrighted material. interesting to see what will happen with that...

Bicycle Sidewalk - Brown Brothers

Tour video - touring the local area and/or speaking to local inhabitants. usually slice of life based and can include tours of the videographers home and family as well as the neighbourhood, town, vacation spots, etc.

Geek-boy - Downtown Manhattan

Reportage - report on a specific event/location/person. often using visible tech devices (mic, lighting, set, etc) and "news" conventions (the interview, the talking head)

Rocketboom

Documentary - maintains the conventions of documentary filmmaking, albeit, on a smaller scale

CSF Vlog - The Truth About Turbans

Instructional - meant to teach a concept or activity

Heads Off - Learn to Juggle

Documentation - recording an event that happened in realtime for those who couldn't make it is a big part of vlogging and helps solidify the community

Ryanne's Video Blog - A Little Bit of BlogHer

Gimmick serial - a set of videos which adhere to a predetermined criteria, housed in a blog that contextualizes the series.

White Guy Eats Foreign Food - Bubble Tea

Personal/confessional - the video maker reveals aspects of their physical and mental world.

Backinblakk - My Breakfast in 7 Minutes

Collaborative - these are very popular community projects in which all who wish can participate. The primary benefit of these videos is community spirit. Mashes are popular, as are virus type projects whereby a theme is put out by one of the members and all who wish can create something and tag it with the theme word(s).

Swordfight - eband

How do we critique these works? Do we follow the canon of Art, or of Film? Would the Home Movie be more appropriate? TV? Can we take the video out of the context of the vlogosphere and have it retain it's meaning or is "signal" in one context only "noise" in another?

A Quicktime Gallery

2005-08-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

There are lots of great quicktime projects at DVblog. It works like a gallery of online works and, if you'd like your stuff included, send them your info. T. Whid of MTAA-RR is one of the contributing editors of this site (and a member of the videoblogging group)

DVblog.org is a Vlog and platform for artists and scholars for presenting or publishing stand-alone and other quicktime works. The site is a resource for digital art, net cinema and experimental moving image projects. We invite you to Send us links to quicktime works :)

Some Tech Talk

2005-08-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

It has occurred to me that the reason more video artists don't post their video on the web may be that they are worried about the costs of hosting content. I know that this has been a problem for online galleries but it need not be any longer.

There are a variety of places online that will host your content free of charge. The Internet Archive has been a big help in getting stuff out into the world. They promote Creative Commons licensing so that you can designate the details of your content sharing.

CC licensing is not, I repeat not, giving up your rights as an artist. It is a way for you to stipulate the ways in which you allow others to use your works as well as restricting permissions. For example, my works are CC licensed as Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0. This means that you may collect/show my stuff if you attribute the work to me, you are not selling it in any way, and you do not use my content to make derivatives that you attribute to yourself.

In practical applications this means that you may post my content on your blog as long as you say it's mine. You are not permitted to plagiarize my stuff and pass if off as your own. Galleries that show my work would still be expected to negotiate a contract.

Not only is Internet Archive useful as a repository for your work, it is also a great source for public domain and CC content that you can use without fear of copyright woes in the creation of new works.

Currently, load times for video have been slow due to dramatically increased usage of the archive. Because of this, I know longer use it to point to my videos although, I still upload them into their system for philosophical reasons.

For fast load times, I suggest posting to blip.tv. You don't need a website to connect the content to. Sign up as a member and upload your videos. There is a built in audience at the blip.tv site and you are free to direct folks to your content via the web address provided.

This is a great way to apply to video shows, etc, as no hard copy is needed. I hope that galleries will get on board. It would certainly make the gallery submission process easier and cheaper for all concerned.

It is very important when posting video to use the right compression. You can get information on how to do this and much more from places like freevlog.org.

Why do I care whether other artists use this technology to post video? Because I live in a place with no contemporary art scene. No show opening/pub crawls. The only stuff I see is what I see online.

I long for content. Show me your stuff.

Biopsy Day Arrives...

2005-08-11T00:30:00.000-07:00

click to view clip

Love For Sale

2005-08-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

While surfing the art blogoshere this afternoon, I found a superb project at In The Conversation called LOST.

While an old project, I believe that it is still ongoing or, at the very least, relevant to my practice. LOST is a performance project by Kathe Izzo, a followup of sorts to her True Love Project, wherein she meets individually with participants and engages them in a variety of agreed upon situations. In LOST, as I understand it, she agrees to meet with individuals via the cell phone. They must find each other. Once found, they try to get to know one another in various, non-scripted ways. This is where the performance takes on a life of it's own.

Izzo considers love to be her art.

The following is a the email documentation of a LOST contract transaction with the Love Artist Kathe Izzo. LOST is an adjunct to The True Love Project, and, like TLP, is an ongoing series of private love performances (beginning in April 2002), in which the artist promises to love the world one person at a time, for one day, hour, afternoon or morning at a time.

What follows is an email exchange between her and one of her participants. I love reading other people's emails and this was a good read. Carolyn, Izzo's correspondant, readily provides personal information. I like that in a correspondant.

Upon more research, I discovered that Izzo charges for these meetings. This saddened me. Also, I wondered if my performances would be better received if my participants were paying through the nose. Would they feel that it was less tawdry? More genuine? I don't know.

I am going to have to think about this one...

Digital Miracles

2005-08-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I've finally cleaned up my links and will be adding more over the next little while. This way, I feel like I'm still hard at work on my blog when, in reality, I've been a complete slacker.

Tomorrow, I go for a biopsy on my neck. I am bringing a videographer with me and will record the event for posterity and the morbidly curious. My hope is that something miraculous will occur and I will capture it in pixels.

What It's All About

2005-08-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

This is prime vlogging. You won't see this on television. Thankyou, Missing Kitten

Mummy, Mummy

2005-08-05T09:50:00.000-07:00

click to view clip

Quicktime, ~8Mb, 1min. 57 sec.

*Crossposted on Byte Me

How To Practice Evolution

2005-08-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

Someone in Toronto came to this site after doing a search for "do manic depressives have the right to hit".

I think that manic depressives should be hit. Tied up, too, if possible. It would give them something to cry about. I know it works for me.

Someone in the United Arab Emirates came to this site after doing a search for "practice sex". I'm not quite sure how that plays out.

Someone in LA came to this site after doing a search for "how to practice a kiss".

That's nice.

I've been sick for the last few days and unable to blog. Even now, I don't feel much like it. It's become an obligation to fulfill. It lets my friends know that I'm still alive, that I haven't gone and done anything drastic like kill myself or become a Mormon. I must have a volatile personality.

The truth is, the doctors have found a tumour in my neck, just under my left ear. I think I'm really growing two distinct heads. One of my heads will be in charge of making and caring about art. The other will handle more practical matters. I am evolving.

This Is Not Vanessa's Peach

2005-07-31T21:23:00.000-07:00

click to view clip

Channel 102

2005-07-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

Internet TV is here and cheesy! Why don't you watch episode one of Teen Homicide on Channel 102?

Every month, five-minute TV shows are screened before a live audience, who vote on which shows they'd like to see continue.

Winning shows return to Channel 102 a month later with new five-minute episodes.

Losing shows are cancelled, never to be heard from again.

But new pilots are always welcome.

Please submit a pilot episode of a TV show not exceeding five minutes on a MiniDV cassette labeled with your name, the name of your show, and your email address to:

Tony Carnevale
P.O. Box 479
Radio City Station
New York, New York 10101-0479

We'll email you if your pilot is selected to be screened.

Tired

2005-07-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I want to write today. I'm tired and sore and I received some news that may alter my life for a while.

So now, I'm asking myself just how personal I want to get with this blog. What is it for? If this is an art blog, what does that mean? Do I have a duty to maintain it's art blogginess? Say something clever about a something I saw? Peddle my wares?

To tell you the truth, I don't give a rat's ass about art right now. Or, maybe I care about it more than ever. I have a hard time deciding.

I'm just tired of everything right now.

Vlogmania!

2005-07-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

Vlogging is starting to get alot of attention from media and not-media alike. It's fun to watch to the developments. It's also a little sad. Soon, companies will be vlogging and there will be vlogger guides and the content will become more slick and tv-like. Or, maybe, I'm just being negative.

The NYT had one of our little group on the cover the other day. Now, Ian, an 18 year old boy in the UK is having a terrible time getting online. He is deluged with emails and messages.

Other recent mentions are in Forbes and a whole series in Wired.

And, in smaller news, the Rantman mentioned D.'s vlog White Guy Eats Foreign Foods!

Visual Blogs

2005-07-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

I've been far too tired to blog of late. That's the thing about blogs and vlogs - there is a duty to update that I am not always able to accomplish. So, today, I will point you toward Into the Blogosphere, an excellent site for acedemic writing on blogging.

One of the articles there, Visual Blogs by Meredith Badger, takes a look at how visual media could change the face of blogging - a very useful read for the art bloggers out there who will be attending the art blogging discussion at Artivistic in the fall.

There are other applications for visual blogs that are already beginning to emerge and will almost definitely be explored further in the near future. Artists may be invited to keep guest blogs on gallery websites to coincide with real-world exhibitions of their work, blog “curators” may invite artists to hold online shows within their own blog where a new exhibit is added each day.

Wouldn't it be great to be able to attend openings around the world via video? I think so. But then, I don't get out much.

Bre Pettis, of I Make Things shares his trip to The Whitney in this video

She Frickin' Blocked Me!

2005-07-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

D. sent me this thoroughly modern love song about chat relationships. Fabulous!

On a chat note, I've been back in the chatrooms, peddling my Miss Mew pics. One interested customer asked if I would be willing to sell him my used panties for $100. That got me thinking about the monetary value of fetish objects in the art world and how panties would fare in a gallery setting. I do believe I have a new project to persue. Now, to get a Canada Council grant for panties.

A Limited Time Offer

2005-07-23T01:47:00.000-07:00

As a continuation of ideas from the TPW performance, I have set up a website project called A Limited Time Offer.

Check it out.

Blog Theory

2005-07-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

Did you know that there is such a thing as blog theory?

I didn't...until I visited the Blogtalk Downunder, a website run by Adrian Miles, in preparation for a conference on blogging and the newly emerging vlogging phenomena.

Miles is a member of the yahoo videoblogging group I joined and his take on vlogs is refreshing and inventive. He would like to see video, not as discreet, read only objects within a blog but as texts from which we can cut and paste portions, access hyperlinked clips from within and otherwise treat as we would a textual blog.

Check out his essay, Media Rich versus Rich Media (or why video in a blog is not the same as a video blog) and learn about terms like granularity:

Granularity is a common term in hypertext theory that is used to describe the level of detail that a particular object or element may have...

...blogs exhibit a very high degree of granularity. They are, to use the extremely apt and popular phrase of David Weinberger, ’small pieces loosely joined’ (Weinberger, 2003)....

It is also this granularity that has allowed blogs to be woven by the network. A blog consists of multiple posts but also multiple links in and out. These links point to parts, not wholes (individual entries, not entire sites) and it is the presence and density of these links that are fundamental to blogs as emergent systems (Miles 2005b). The issue for a video blogging practice is to try to conceive of video as being similarly granular.

Domme In Theory And Practice

2005-07-21T16:46:00.000-07:00

Someone found this site today after doing an aol search for the terms "domme", "theory" and "practice".

Think I'll break out the whip tonight.

Networked Performance

2005-07-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

I found a great website this morning called networked-performance
which was created in order " to explore performance within, through, and across computer networks and disciplines" in preparation for a conference in 2006.

The site is a blog hosted by Helen Thorington and Michelle Riel with a meaty comment section where participants are discussing theoretical issues and describing various projects that are relevant to the discourse.

It was in the comments section that I read about Hole In Space, the telecommunications project of Kit Galloway and Sherrie Rabinowitz:

On the first evening, unsuspecting pedestrians walking past the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts in New York City, came face-to-face with life-sized television images of unsuspecting pedestrians walking past "The Broadway" department store in Century City, Los Angeles. And vice versa. There were no explanations. 3000 miles apart, they could see one another; they could hear and they could speak with one another.
The second evening saw growing numbers of people populating the streets as word-of-mouth and long distance telephone calls spread the word; on the third as a result of television coverage the previous evening - there was a mass migration of families and trans-continental loved ones to the two locations, where they ²utilized the link or frame -- provided by Galloway and Rabinovitz, and gave it its content, and its meaning.² Many of those present had not seen each other in 20 years. http://www.medienkunstnetz.de/works/hole-in-space/)
This shift from artist as creator of content to artist as creator of a space in which others (the public, friends and acquaintances) produce content and meaning, is profound.
Posted by: Jo at July 18, 2005 05:03 PM

Would you consider this project to be performance art?

Art Phone

2005-07-19T11:43:00.000-07:00

Ah yes. I went to the new blog Source Code and read about Susana Mendes Silva's newest version of Art Room called Art Phone.

Previously, Silva tried to do a performance in a chat room where she invited the chatters to ask questions about contemporary art. She was met with scorn and was eventually ousted from the room.

In this next version, she is using Skype. Just add her to your list of contacts and, when she's online, give her a call (her skype name is susana_mendes_silva) and ask her anything about contemporary art.

I'm curious about this one. I am going to give her a call. Is the conversation restricted to art or can I engage her in more personal discussions? We'll see...

The Blahs

2005-07-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

I have been remiss in my posts the last few days.

Yesterday, I went to the beach and laid about for hours. Now, I'm red.

I'm finding that, staying at someone else's house is having a detrimental effect on my own activities. I am feeling entirely unmotivated. All I want to do is sleep, eat, lounge around and have sex.

I've been watching D. play with editing equipment and it reminded me of how much I used to enjoy making things. He's so enthusiatic about what he's doing and everything is so new to him. I used to have energy to burn. Now, I'm just burning on the beach.

It must be the post-show blahs. I really need to get my butt in gear and get moving on my new project. But first, another coffee and, maybe, a stroll along the beach...

Cargazer Coniferation

2005-07-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

I finally made it down to the traffic circle to see the new art installation.

You may remember the furor over the last installation - Michael Hermesh's Baggage Handler - that put Penticton on the radar.

The new installation, a sculpture rendered from immense logs and suspended car hoods painted up by the local children, has received nary a peep of attention from either Penticton's media or the CBC.

I tried googling the work to pick up some details on it such as the artist's name and the title of the piece and spent about an hour searching various combinations until I hit upon a small segment in a past issue of the local paper. That's it. No other hits. I even googled the artist to no avail. There is a huge blight on the landscape and everyone is politely averting their eyes.

Cargazer Coniferation was created by Vancouver artist Monty Walden. I am impressed that something so enormous and so hideous could be installed in town with little fanfare. Could it be that the locals are still embarrassed from the Frank fiasco and are desparate to avoid national scrutiny?

Described by some as "totem-like", the pentagram shaped monstrosity rises up from the cement pad like a bad version of "modern primitive". D. thought it reminiscent of a Warcraft landscape. Ugh. Honestly, I have no idea how something of this magnitude could've gotten past the selection committee.

Director/Curator Curtis Joseph Collins has this to say about the choice of installation in the gallery newsletter;

Perhaps the most controvertial art to be shown in association with the gallery this summer will be Monty Walden's temporary installation in the Roundabout. As the chair of the City of Penticton's Public Art Advisory Committee, I remain hopeful that such a public art project marks a progressive effort within our community. However an onslaught of misinformed criticism in the local newspapers has me worried that those who refuse to accept installation as a valid practice may drown the voices of positive change. Art is no doubt a subjective experience and everyone is entitled to an opinion, however this is merely one site of many in Penticton that feature art. And as the organizer of this project I will not be deterred by stagnant minds. Walden's proposal was selected by the ten members of the Advisory Committee and then unanomously endorsed by City Council. Please support art in its many forms.

I can't wait to see what is in store for us next!

Correspondence

2005-07-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm lying in bed right now, keying in from D.'s laptop. Although it's Saturday, I'm not on cam. How freeing it is!

I received an email from the TPW address, however:

when I had a pussy-cat , his favourite brand of cat-food was indeed Miss Mew!

Gordon Lightfoot, in case we have never noticed , is the unsexiest man who ever lived! A lack of pictures only serves to create a surfeit of images1

The email was cc'd to one, andrewp. Could this be the author of the cryptic message?

I think the dispersions on Lightfoot are unwarranted.

I wrote to Chris over at Zeke's Gallery about my interest in the art blogging discussion group at the upcoming Artivistic/05 event. I like the idea of some real time meet ups with the other bloggers and hearing their impressions of the importance (or lack of importance) of art blogs to the wider art community. And, more interestingly, what blogging means to them.

Hello. My Name Is...

2005-07-14T16:56:00.000-07:00

I've been hanging out at the yahoo videoblogging group today - something that I don't generally do - and watching the arguments over what vlogging can and/or should be. Some see it as television. Some, like visual journals. Some want vlogging to make it to the big time as an entertainment choice. Others enjoy the micro-celebrity. For many, it is a broadcasting system. For others, it is a form of communication.

In talking about the potential of the medium for interactivity, I began to think about this blog. I have been looking at my stats and see a variety of addresses from all over the world. Some readers get here by accident while looking for something else. One person did a google search for phone sex! I'm afraid I was a disappointment. sigh.

Today, I had a person from Princeton go through my archives. What were they looking for and did they find it?

I guess I'm a bit of a voyeur, pouring over IP addresses. I want to know everything about these anonymous readers. Are they involved in the art community? Where else do they like to visit? Come here often? Why or why not?

To my readers;

I would love it if you would introduce yourself. Maybe we could have a conversation...

Pause

2005-07-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

Staff photos Stephanie Mitchell/Harvard News Office

Cross posted on Byte Me

I've been looking into the work of Wynne Greenwood, sole band member in the three person band, Tracy and The Plastics. I am interested in the idea of participatory video and in performance that moves between real and recorded space. Through the use of multiple personas, Greenwood's performances attempt to blur boundaries between the maker and the made and invite her audience to make the performance as well by encouraging interjected commentary.

Part basement punk show, part video installation, and part one-woman play, Tracy and the Plastics are comprised of Greenwood and her virtual alter egos, Nikki and Cola, who exist solely on a four by five foot screen via video projections. Through lo-fi electronic music and bold but simple video art, Greenwood and the Plastics explore - and dismantle - the layers of interaction among performer, spectator, and screen. Midway through her performance Greenwood addressed this altered dynamic; stopping the VHS tape she explained: "When I pause the video, it's an acknowledgment that I made the video." Harvard Gazette

Greenwood will stop her act and engage her audience in conversation. In Can You Pause That For A Second...and let yourself groove, Greenwood writes about her concentration on the ability to pause a video and what this means to her:

It seems like when you pause (a video) you stop participating with it. You disengage, you stop paying attention, you answer the phone, spill(ed) your drink. But I think the opposite. I think the space of a paused video is one of total participation and self-care...

CAN YOU PAUSE THAT FOR A SECOND? Why do I keep doing this? Why do we keep doing this (this band, this video work, this singing job)? I make this happen because there's a space I'm moving around in. And it's a hot space, it's breathing and imagining and producing revolution, culture, passion. It's the same space as a video paused. It's the same space as the spoon suction in the separated peanut butter/oil mix. These spaces ask us to bring things together for a second.

I think that the vlog is a paused video. When you visit a vlog website, video merges with text , still image, and audio and there is space for the viewer to become maker through the inclusion of commentary which can be in the form of text, image and video. Many vloggers make themselves freely available for real time conversations via chat, PoIP, and video conferencing, merging the "then" with the "now".

There is a high degree of intertextuality between vlogs as makers comment on each other's videos, respond to them with their own videos, make guest appearances in the videos of other vloggers and make new videos utilizing clips from other makers. The idea that each of us is a potential vlogger, invited to contribute to the conversation, heightens the participatory nature of the medium.

Paused video is good for the soul. It's physical. It's a participation...Your turn. Wynne Greenwood

A Short Message...

2005-07-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

click to view the video

A Little Visit

2005-07-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

susansontag2005: what's up m m?
theonemissmew: hello
theonemissmew: i'm just working on some new projects
susansontag2005: what are you wearing right now?
theonemissmew: flannel pajama pants and a tee. what about you?
susansontag2005: jeans and a dirty ee.....but it's getting way too hot for me like this. i was thinking of cutting the nipples out of the shirt for some venting.
theonemissmew: hmmmm...i don't tend to sweat from my nipples.
susansontag2005: mw niether but i like people to see them. did you know that my brother actually has a third nipple./ it is only about half the normal size. girls like it though. how can i take your picture right now?
theonemissmew: i'm not on cam today. i usually only go on cam on saturdays.
susansontag2005: bummer. i like your pictures on the wall here. you look like fun. have a nice day and if you ever meet a boy with three nipples ask if he is my brother.
theonemissmew: i will do that. thanks for the chat

Cracks In The Pavement

2005-07-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

Kevin Hampson is participating in a multi-venue public art project called Cracks In The Pavement. I'm pleased that, in a city bustling with a wide assortment of people, Hampson has honed in on the pedestrians rather than the physical location itself.

The project is to create site specific works that speak to the location in which they are installed. The works should be portable and will be expected to be picked up and taken away by those who find them. The show will continue until all of the works have been taken.

Kevin's piece is a series of bookworks that create a narrative surrounding individuals he encounters on his walk to work:

The encounters I have had range from the strange to the mundane. For example, there is the janitor: I pass the same janitor every day working outside the Art Gallery of Ontario. We have very set schedules so we always pass each other at a particular time. We share a nod or a knowing glance but never converse. I want to weave this experience into a fictitious account of his life. The text I invent will blur borders for a viewer and create an evocative account of a life lived in that space.

I particularly enjoy the story surrounding the creation of the Peter bookwork:

Queen and University is the site of Osgoode Hall, a Victorian building that functions as courtrooms and great library for the Ontario Superior Court of Justice in the centre of downtown Toronto. It is here that I met "Peter," a man who exposed himself to several others and me on a busy afternoon. My relationship with this individual is much different than the other two since it only happened once and was quite shocking. The piece will depict the moment he flashed me as well as the events leading up to and after the offense. His excitement and mental state will also figure heavily. To my knowledge, "Peter" was never caught.

I often find myself watching strangers on the street and I wonder what their lives are like. What are they thinking about at that very moment? What would it be like to be them? Where did they just come from and where are they headed to?

Hampson takes on these questions and answers them according to his own dreams and desires - much as we all do in our interactions with others. We tell ourselves stories about each other and, sometimes, we believe them. Ultimately, these stories are about ourselves.

Hampson's installation began on the 10th. Go to the show's website and get a nifty map. Happy hunting.

Call Me

2005-07-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

Last night I met a phone sex operator. She was interesting and informative - sharing her experiences and insights into the phone sex business world. She's also a psychic reader and gave D. and I a bit of a reading about our relationship according to our zodiac sign (we are both Libras).

I have always been interested in phone sex as a vocation and meeting her was a dream come true. I hope that she will let me interview her on camera sometime. I'd be interested in exploring the stories of the men she has spoken with.

One of the things that struck me as she was describing the phonecalls was that the sexual conversation was, for many of her clients, a structure which enabled them to establish a connection. They paid, by the minute, to talk about their relationships and seek advice. I'm curious about these clients. Of course, their orgasm was an important aspect of the interaction.

She's talking about starting up her own business which would combine the psychic readings with phone sex. Sounds like an interesting idea. Palm reading?

On a related note, I've been looking into an artist named Igor Stromajer because I like his artist's statement:

He believes in intimacy, individuality, co-operation, communication, eroticism, asceticism, orgasm, concept, pleasure, media, fantasies, nuts, researching, philosophy, high technology and angels. He doesn't believe in tourism and the end.

Ta Da!

2005-07-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

While waiting, I engaged a crossdresser in conversation. It didn't get very far, sadly. He wanted me to switch over to msn messenger and I couldn't or I'd lose my connection to the gallery.

I got one participant for my final performance - another artist looking to find a gallery to represent him. He wandered in while scoping out the commercial galleries.

And, that's it. The show, for me, is finished.

The Day Begins

2005-07-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here waiting for my final performance for the gallery to begin...

With the untimely demise of my Mac, I have been relocated to D.'s bedroom, where he has set up a performance area. It's odd doing this here. I feel out of sorts.

Afterwards, it's a get together with his co-workers followed by a trip into Kelowna to attend a BDSM munch.

It's been a while since we've interacted with the kinksters. This will be our first group situation as a couple. I'm a little nervous about it. I don't know why. Maybe I don't want to mess with things now that they are so good...

It Isn't Love

2005-07-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

I've been having some trouble with an ex. He is probably reading this right now. I've been told I should just ignore him hoping that he will go away but, so far, that tactic doesn't seem to be working. He only shifts his attention to those I care about.

This is the downside of love - it can turn cruel. It can turn into something else that isn't love or hate or sadness but something else. Something uglier than hate. I should know this already, having been raised on Days Of Our Lives which I watched religiously with my mother when I was a child.

The bad guy never really dies. He only goes on vacation for a spell and comes back with a tan and new resolve. His closeups are filled with an ominous soundtrack. It becomes boring. Why, oh why, won't they write him out of the show? A final death by dismemberment.

Offline Message

2005-07-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

I received an offline message on yahoo messenger from an unknown chatter. They've seen my blogs, they say, and would like to chat.

There are a few ways they could've associated my yahoo id with my blogs and I wonder how they came about it. The gallery documentation? Flickr? Google?

I answered, but they don't seem to be around at present. Perhaps he/she is reading this now and can fill in the details...

Homesick

2005-07-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

My Mac is still broken and I am broken hearted about it. It's thrown me all off schedule. I don't have my RSS feeds for my morning browse, my address book is unavailable, my images for posting inaccessible. Typing on this laptop is like sleeping at a friend's house - nice, but not home. I hope I can get my home up and running again.

Communication Art

2005-07-05T12:13:00.000-07:00

I've borrowed D.'s laptop while I try to figure out what is wrong with my Mac. What an awful thing for a cyborg - the breakdown of a virtual body.

I found an interesting article about Communication Art. While it specifically addresses telephones with an emphasis on the mobile phone, the definition of the genre covers technology based participatory works of many kinds:

Telecommunications-based art is primarily concerned with connecting distant and contiguous spaces. According to Frank Popper [7], communication art has six main characteristics: (1) it stages physical presence at distance, (2) it telescopes the immediate and the delayed, (3) it focuses on the playfulness of interactivity, (4) it combines memory and real time, (5) it promotes planetary communication and (6) it encourages a detailed study of human social groupings. In a broader sense, it can be said that telecommunication art not only foresees new developments for existing technologies, but also changes our perception of space. It focuses on the relationships between participants, rather than on the creation of material objects, in a situation where the author is the context provider, not the content creator.

I was thinking about how vlogs are participatory in a way that video art is not. Vlogs allow for direct communication with the image creators and are often intertextual. Like a conversation on a bulletin board, the videos are posted, viewed by many who respond with written, audio and video comments. Sometimes, the videos are taken and remixed or expounded upon. The viewer is also a potential creator.

D. and I have joined a vlogging community and are finding out just how much the various vlogs are interwoven. We only wish that we had the money to attend the various real time/space meetings between this worldwide group.

On a related note, Eric Deis sent me an email pointing me to his drawing board project. This is also a form of communication art. Deis has provided a forum for others to collaborate and converse via drawing. While this is not a new concept (my youngest daughter has been participating in this activity for years on the many draw chat sites), the drawings done on Deis' site will be printed out and displayed as art. Who is the author?

Crap!

2005-07-04T19:30:00.000-07:00

It's been an all around crappy day for me. The vlog that D. and I worked on last night won't compress, my computer broke, and I have inadvertently caused a riff in a relationship through a badly timed email.

I found a great essay on Communication Art but it's on my mac, along with my notes for a post on the topic.

I have one more performance to do for the gallery. I hope my computer is back up by then.

I need a drink.

No Takers Part Two

2005-07-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

D.'s companion vlog is up at Byte Me. Check it out..

I fear that I have lost him to video.

No Takers

2005-07-02T15:34:00.000-07:00

click to watch the video

Not Well At All

2005-07-02T12:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. My throat hurts, my head hurts, my eyes hurt. I'm coughing up a storm. very attractive.

I'm on cam at the gallery although no one has responded yet. Someone could be watching...or not. I've been laying on the bed most of the day, glancing over to see if anyone is attempting to make contact. No hits so far.

Someone was watching earlier - an uninvited guest appeared on my cam list. macmasterg. I've seen him on my list before and I can't figure out how he gets on. Some hacker, no doubt. I shut him down but next time, I think I'll talk to him and try to find out what he's up to and why.

I also wonder if there are hackers that can watch my cam without showing up in the list and, if so, what they think of the performance. It must be attractive to catch people unaware. Anything could happen.

I wish I was a hacker.

Altered, Boy!

2005-06-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

Speaking of adapting art to suit commodity models inherent in the gallery structure, Carlo Zanni as created Alterboy, essentially a white cube to house (and limit access to) web based works.

The Altarboy Oriana shown at Chelsea Museum in the show Passage of Mirage curated by Christiane Paul and Zhang Ga in the fall of 2004.

While many digital works can be stored and loaded from a CD or DVD, Net works need to stay online. So basically many issues and questions rise from that status the first one being: how can I own something that needs to stay public to ‘exist’?... I wanted to find a neutral and very customable model, something characterized by a ‘primordial asset’. So I came up with the idea to sell a server directly, a small personal server. In this way it is up to the collector to decide when and where to put the work online, allowing the network to start again and viewers to visit/interact with it.

While Zanni states that this new acquisition tool doesn't alter the nature of the work, I disagree. Altarboy changes the work by taking it out of the public realm. These new (anti)Net works can now be sequestered in the collection vaults of galleries and the homes of the wealthy at the expense of artistic information sharing.

It's true that net artists don't have to sell their works to collectors but, as this proprietorship idea advances, prices for the work may well go up and who doesn't want to make money?

Can you imagine? Websites sans web, housed in privately owned repositories, presided over by Art Monks.

Bears Abound

2005-06-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

I Heart Bears In Seattle

I made this painting with B.

I like to paint. It's fun. Outcomes are unimportant. I paint over the same canvasses, over and over, and invite those around me to participate. I used to have painting/drinking parties with lots of paints and brushes available. Mixed media additions were also encouraged. Some of the paintings have gotten quite thick over time. There's one at K.'s house in Toronto. If you're ever over at his house, pick up a brush and add to it.

Vlogging

2005-06-29T18:39:00.000-07:00

I just woke up from a long nap and I'm groggy.

I'm always groggy and irritable after napping. Others say that it refreshes them. I do not feel refreshed.

I made my first vlog and it's over at Byte Me. It's an experiment which I hope will lead to something interesting. Will it be art because I made it?

I've also been watching a great many vlogs over the past couple of days. This one, by Jay Dedman over at Momentshowing, talks about his first year as a vlogger and what it means to him:

click to watch the video

Byte Me

2005-06-28T12:10:00.000-07:00

D. and I decided to work on a collaborative blog as a little forum for our mutual interest in all things dealing with communication technologies. Some of the posts I make here will either be repeated or elaborated on there.

We will also be using it to conduct experiments in audio and vlogging as well as other stuff we may get a hankering to sample. We're working out the details on the fly so there may be significant changes to it as we go...

Phone/Sex

2005-06-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

A girlfriend of mine recently told me that when she sees her boyfriend's phone number on her phone's caller ID window, she has an instantaneous sexual response. It's a sense of just-after-the-orgasm, in what is now to her a totally sexual moment (the reception of a call from a lover or potential lover). The phone number of the lover becomes local and fetishized, and it comes to represent something sexy, as the pattern of the number itself becomes so over-identified as a sign of the lover. The same could be said for screen names, which are the digital identities one creates when joining instant-messenger groups on the web. I can remember a screen name that used to make me shudder, although I know it was an arbitrary sign, a set of symbols that came to embody something more. If the letters had been attached to someone else they would never have held the same significance, as it was totally subjective and local to my own fetish, my own desire. I adhered myself to the sign nonetheless because it represented a connection between myself and the individual--a very hot connection in my mind that felt immediate, instant, and close. Emily Lacy