Wednesday, June 01, 2005

And I'm There Again

From Attachments:
i went to my exlover's house yesterday. we nearly made love and i couldn't go through with it. i couldn't deal with the absence of passion. he only lets me halfway in. i need to be enveloped. i need to be eaten completely.

now, i am miserable. i never should have gone there. i don't know why i hope or care or love. i want to be a machine.

and i hate you for being so far away. you're not a dream or a fantasy or a memory. you aren't made of flesh. you touch me in words and sounds and things. always mediated. second hand. i can't really hate you. or love you. i can't throw things at you. i can't pull you down onto me. you have no smell. you taste like cotton...



...The more physical and beautiful and separate and real you seem to me, the further away you seem, the more reachable you feel. The more I am desperate for you, the more I am frightened of you.

I want to talk to you again. Very soon. Tonight. Stop my words. Thankyou for the beautiful letters. I will not hate you for them...



Blogger Virginia said...

I know how ya feel sister. It's like the words were from my own brain.

8:25 PM  
Blogger Anne Walk said...

thankyou, virginia.

10:03 PM  

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