Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The Breakup

knight: did you leave without saying anything??
pomoartchick: no i didn't. i'm still here
knight: I am not trying to make things difficult....I just dont know if we are just never to speak...I dont want you to think I am ignoring you.....I am trying to give you some space
pomoartchick: i don't want to pretend that everything is alright when it's not.
knight: I do know that everything is not right
knight: but you have been very cold on the computer....does that mean we are not to be friends either??
pomoartchick: i have alot of anger over everything that's happened. part of that anger is your inability or refusal to acknowledge your part in things. it is hard for me to be friends because of this.
knight: I have acknowledged my part in things...and I accept the blame for it
knight: and why was it ok to be friends when I was there, and not now??
pomoartchick: i dont' want to talk about this. it will only end in a fight. suffice it to say, that was not about friendship. it was about slipping into old patterns because i am scared and lonely. i don't want to do that again.
knight: you never seem to want to talk about does anything ever get cant keep avoiding issues............and i dont believe the second part.......
pomoartchick: of course you dont' believe me. i tell you how i feel and you choose to ignore it or argue it. that is why i don't want to talk about it. nothing gets resolved. nothing ever has in all of the time we have been together.
knight: when we kissed that was nothing to do with old patterns
pomoartchick: that was the scared and lonely part. for me, anyway. i so desparately wanted to believe that i wasn't going to be alone. i wanted to pretend that things could change. but they can't. in the back of my head were all of the things that made me so unhappy in our relationship. and i know that if we stayed together, it would always be that way. it would just get worse and worse. and i'm so tired of starting over and i'm tired of feeling like shit. i wanted one imaginary night. and i got it.
knight: yes you got should be very pleased with your self
Yahoo! Messenger: knight has signed out


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is scary! i have had that same conversation over and over, almost to the letter with someone. its amazing how we feel so alone in our own little world of relationships and things while the person next to us is trapped in the same scenario. how fr back must we stand to see a bigger picture?

10:33 PM  

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